massive aggressive

There are days when I don’t know how many hours I’ve been awake. And there are days when I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep. All I know is that when my alarm goes off, I have to get up and go to work. I’m not even sure what date it is. The date on my phone says it’s 5-11-08. whatever that means, I’m quite sure it’s not right. Last week, while at work, I started telling everyone how glad I am that it’s already Friday and we get to finally rest the next day. It was just Wednesday. Who would have thought? I think I’ve been awake for around 40 hours.

I think this is the first time in almost a month that I got off work while the sun is still up. it’s a national holiday so the streets were almost empty. While the bus rushed through roxas boulevard, I noticed a photographer on the sidewalk. He was on one knee while he took pictures of my orange sky. I wouldn’t even have noticed the sunset if I hadn’t seen that photographer.

I wonder if his high tech camera lens can capture the sky as I see it. Or at least the way I used to. I tried to remember how it felt, seeing it for the first time. But I can’t remember much. Just that I was overwhelmed. Now… I find that it’s empty but still overwhelming.

The thing about sunsets and orange skies is that no painting or picture can ever be as beautiful… because you have to be there.


It’s just never what it is when you’re not there.


NP: masters of war : bob dylan
"And I hope that you die
And your death'll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I'll watch while you're lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I'll stand over your grave
'Til I'm sure that you're dead."