I have decided that since I have already poured more than necessary to this blog, that I would keep this and keep it anonymous. The OTHER blog would stay identified and open for public consumption. But this would be the place where I pour everything out and just say whatever I want to say. True to the name, this will be mushashii’s mush pit as it has been for the last two fucking years. I will try my best to keep the other one bright, sunny and censored.
so, here goes... haha.
Sometimes, we let go of the things we love not because we’ve given up. but because we simply want them to be happy. Because… isn’t that what love is all about in the first place?
My last shred of hope to keep tascha fell apart last night. I will miss her. She truly is my baby. Over the course of two weeks, I’m afraid that much like me, she has also learned to silently cry herself to sleep.
It’s just not fair.
I always believed that love will not always be enough. Yet the last seven years I think the only thing that kept me going was love.
It’s been two years since my world suddenly took a 180 degree turn. And since I don’t think I’ve ever really recovered, I didn’t think my world could fall apart again. But it did.
Maybe all this is part of a grand plan that I have yet to understand. It better be. the heart can only take so much.
All things considered, I have an extended/special/deluxe now playing edition:
there is no if : the cure
"if you die" you said "so do i" you said...
And it starts the day you make the sign
"tell me I'm forever yours and you're forever mine
Forever mine... "
Remember the last time I told you I love you -
It was warm and safe in our perfect world –
"if you die" you said "so do i" you said
But it ends the day you understand
There is no if... just and
There is no if... just and
There is no if..."
going to california : led zeppelin
“I think I might be sinking.
Throw me a line if I reach it in time
I’ll meet you up there where the path
Runs straight and high.
To find a queen without a king;
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings.”
it doesn’t have to be that way : jim croce
“And the Christmas carols sound like blues,
But the choir is not to blame.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
What we had should never have ended.”
stop crying your heart out : oasis
“Cos all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you'll see them some day
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Get up... Come on... why you scared
You'll never change what been and gone”
two star : everything but the girl
“So it's not for me to say,
because I change my mind from day to day,
and when I look at you
I only see bits of myself anyway.
So go on, and stop listening to me.
Stop lisening to me.
And don't ask me what to say,
or to judge a life this way
when my own's in disarray.”
every grain of sand : bob dylan
“I hear the ancient footsteps like the motion of the sea
Sometimes I turn, there's someone there, other times it's only me.
I am hanging in the balance of the reality of man
Like every sparrow falling, like every grain of sand.”
flowers in december : mazzy star
"Before I let you down again
I just want to see you in your eyes
I would have taken everything out on you
I only thought you could understand
They say everyman goes blind in his heart
And they say everybody steals somebody's heart away
And I got nothing more to say about it
Nothing more than you would me
Send me your flowers, of your december
Send me your dreams, of your candy wine
I got just one thing I cant give you
Just one more thing of mine
They say everyman goes blind in his heart
They say everybody steals somebodys heart away
And Ive been wondering why you let me down
And I been taking it all for granted."
oh, fuck.
so, here goes... haha.
Sometimes, we let go of the things we love not because we’ve given up. but because we simply want them to be happy. Because… isn’t that what love is all about in the first place?
My last shred of hope to keep tascha fell apart last night. I will miss her. She truly is my baby. Over the course of two weeks, I’m afraid that much like me, she has also learned to silently cry herself to sleep.
It’s just not fair.
I always believed that love will not always be enough. Yet the last seven years I think the only thing that kept me going was love.
It’s been two years since my world suddenly took a 180 degree turn. And since I don’t think I’ve ever really recovered, I didn’t think my world could fall apart again. But it did.
Maybe all this is part of a grand plan that I have yet to understand. It better be. the heart can only take so much.
All things considered, I have an extended/special/deluxe now playing edition:
there is no if : the cure
"if you die" you said "so do i" you said...
And it starts the day you make the sign
"tell me I'm forever yours and you're forever mine
Forever mine... "
Remember the last time I told you I love you -
It was warm and safe in our perfect world –
"if you die" you said "so do i" you said
But it ends the day you understand
There is no if... just and
There is no if... just and
There is no if..."
going to california : led zeppelin
“I think I might be sinking.
Throw me a line if I reach it in time
I’ll meet you up there where the path
Runs straight and high.
To find a queen without a king;
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings.”
it doesn’t have to be that way : jim croce
“And the Christmas carols sound like blues,
But the choir is not to blame.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
What we had should never have ended.”
stop crying your heart out : oasis
“Cos all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you'll see them some day
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Get up... Come on... why you scared
You'll never change what been and gone”
two star : everything but the girl
“So it's not for me to say,
because I change my mind from day to day,
and when I look at you
I only see bits of myself anyway.
So go on, and stop listening to me.
Stop lisening to me.
And don't ask me what to say,
or to judge a life this way
when my own's in disarray.”
every grain of sand : bob dylan
“I hear the ancient footsteps like the motion of the sea
Sometimes I turn, there's someone there, other times it's only me.
I am hanging in the balance of the reality of man
Like every sparrow falling, like every grain of sand.”
flowers in december : mazzy star
"Before I let you down again
I just want to see you in your eyes
I would have taken everything out on you
I only thought you could understand
They say everyman goes blind in his heart
And they say everybody steals somebody's heart away
And I got nothing more to say about it
Nothing more than you would me
Send me your flowers, of your december
Send me your dreams, of your candy wine
I got just one thing I cant give you
Just one more thing of mine
They say everyman goes blind in his heart
They say everybody steals somebodys heart away
And Ive been wondering why you let me down
And I been taking it all for granted."
oh, fuck.
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