an apple a day...

I have been really really sick since I got back home from my trip. I thought it was the flu, but after visiting the doctor yesterday, it turns out to be bronchitis. Crap. I guess that explains why I've been in so much pain the past week. The doctor won't let me go back to work yet. This couldn't have come at a worse time.

Speaking of work... I am looking at another job. I think I'll know on Wednesday. I really hope this turns well.

I haven't posted the continuation of my trip to Ilocos yet, but I will. As soon as I remember where I saved the drafts. haha. I will also post the pictures I took during the trip. I am still not sure which photo hosting site to post them on. I'll post the link here once I get everything together.

For now, I shall lie down and watch cartoons all day.

windmills of my mind

Bangui Windmills

goodness. what the hell was in that margarita? one glass and i am dizzy. i am done for the day and it's just 8:30 pm.

i am seriously thinking about staying one more night here in Pagudpud... but i'll stay in Saud. the beach there is heavenly. it's beautiful. it's so amazing here.... i haven't left Pagudpud yet but i already plan to go back. I'll tell you about the beautiful places I saw today as soon as I wake up tomorrow morning.

NP: the windmills of your mind : sting
"Keys that jingle in your pocket
Words that jangle in your head
Why did summer go so quickly?
Was it something that you said?
Lovers walk along a shore
And leave their footprints in the sand
Is the sound of distant drumming
Just the fingers of your hand?
Pictures hanging in a hallway
And the fragment of a song
Half-remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong?
When you knew that it was over
You were suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the colour of her hair

Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning
On an ever-spinning reel
As the images unwind
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind..."

back in time and the end of the world

Calle Crisologo

After sooo much stress and sooo much trouble, I am finally in Pagudpud. I arrived at Kapuluan Vista Resort a little after 9:00pm. There is something terribly wrong with how far this place is. I was so scared I’ll end up in Cagayan Valley. I have no idea where Cagayan Valley is. But I have a feeling it’s at the tip of this big island I’m in. I am almost sure that if you go further north of Cagayan Valley, you’ll be swimming in the South China Sea.

I wasn’t able to leave Vigan as scheduled because I wasn’t really able to explore the place yesterday. I didn’t want to leave without seeing everything I wanted to see.

Bantay Bell Tower

I can barely remember the places I saw this morning. I will have to look at the pictures and rest a little to remember. The time I spent in Vigan seems so far away now... well... it is so far away now, know why? Because I’m in freaking Pagudpud which is at the end of the freaking world!!!

So far, the hotel seems nice. I haven’t been to the beach yet. Although I can hear and smell the ocean. I love the fact that we can smell the ocean. It’s amazing.

Another thing I love about Pagudpud is that when you breathe here... you know that you're breathing fresh air. You know it's good for you... and you don't secretly wish you have thick nose hair to filter the pollution.

St. Paul's Cathedral on Sunday Morning

Anyway, the Calesa tour this morning... The staff from Grandpa’s Inn got a Calesa for me and the first stop is the Bantay bell tower, I wanted to hear mass at the Church but the service was said in Ilocano, I wouldn’t understand it anyway. We went to the Burgos Museum, where there were a lot of tombs with real bones in them. Why would they unearth tombs and put them on museums??? I think it's a bit disrespectful. The Burgos Museum is the ancestral home of Padre Burgos, one of the three priests executed during the Spanish regime.

The wishing well

Then we went to the Burnay (Pottery) place. I heard this trade/art was introduced by Chinese immigrants. Next was the Hidden Garden where I wished on a wishing well… let’s see if it comes true. This is also were I saw some ladies making the famous Vigan empanada. Then, we were off to Chavit’s Baluarte. Wow. That dude has a lot of money. How do you own tigers and lions, anyway? We also dropped by Crisologo Museum where I saw pictures of Crisologo when he was murdered in St. Paul’s Cathedral… while hearing mass. That was brutal.

Before heading for back to the hotel, we dropped by the market to buy new luggage for my stuff.

I forgot to mention that during my entire stay at Vigan, I only ate Bagnet, Pinakbet, poqui-poqui and Vigan longanisa. The food at Café Uno is amazing; I didn’t have to go anywhere else to eat. Even the Choco banana shake is heavenly.

After lunch, I walked back to Calle Crisologo for souvenir shopping. I figured I had more room now that I have a big suitcase. As usual I spent way too much. I swear someone else should be handling my finances. Well, at least I am done with half of my Christmas shopping.

I left the hotel and took the bus for Laoag where I’ll get on another bus to Pagudpud. Little did I know of the harsh conditions that await me. First, there were no air-conditioned busses en route to Pagudpud. When they said it takes 4 hours to get to Pagudpud from Vigan, they did not include the 1 hour to wait for a bus from Vigan, another hour to wait for the bus from Laoag to Pagudpud, another hour to wait for another bus when your bus breaks down and another hour from Pagudpud town proper to the hotel.

I wore my fake (i'm-married-so-back-off) wedding ring and later on, I learned that either guys don’t notice the ring or they just ignore it. The only one who noticed, of all people, was the konductor of the bus on the way to Pagudpud.

The bus left at 6:00pm, around 7:00pm, I reminded him that they will have to drop me off at Gaua (which I always pronounce in several different ways because I keep forgetting the right one). He nodded and said he will. 7:30pm, I was getting anxious. I asked him if it's still far, he said yes. So I listened to my iPod again. 8:00pm, I asked how far away we are and how long till we get there. He said 30minutes. The konductor would have scolded me if I were a kid. But he didn't get annoyed. Instead, 5 minutes later, he asked me how many husbands I had... which was so funny coz so far, out of the guys who hit on me on this trip, he had the funniest pick up line. It seriously made me laugh. Until I realized, he was waiting for an answer. Haha. That shut me up. I didn’t ask “are we there yet?” again.

The people from the hotel were getting worried. It was almost 9PM and I still haven’t checked in. I told them there was a delay coz the bus broke down and we had to wait for another bus to arrive. Transferring from one bus to another was an ordeal I cannot articulate.

I saw signs of Pagudpud, then Saud... then just small little towns with names I’ve never heard of and very little electricity. I was getting nervous and was wondering if there are any hotels in this place called Cagayan Valley. I was on the verge of a panic attack when the Konductor said it was my stop.

Hmmm… I swallowed hard as I lugged my trolley and looked around. No electricity. No vehicles. Nothing. Then this kind lady, who also got off the bus, asked me where I was going and helped me out.

And I am finally here… The place is nice. The pool is smaller than I perceived from the pictures in the internet, but it's ok... the bed is definitely more comfortable than the one I had in Vigan and there's a cute little flower on it. I only have 2 fluffy pillows instead of the usual six. But it was the bathroom that made everything worth it.

My bathroom with the little garden inside

There is nothing better than to take a warm shower in a bathroom with a little garden after a long and tiring day.

It’s almost 11pm. I have to sleep now. I think my right arm is about to fall off.

Location: Kapuluan Vista Resort, Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte

NP: used to be lucky : the wallflowers
"Now if losing is amusing, man get a load of me
You see me fallin' in love with a guillotine
But it used to be funny, to think you would think of me
Oooh ooh ooh oooh
Now I wish I could just take all my things and leave
But I've fallen down in the wheels of this machine
But it used to be somethin', to be nowhere with nothin'
Oooh ooh ooh oooh
So sad Everything's goin' bad
In the dreams I've had
They all laugh at what I have..."

you are timeless to me...

Calle Crisologo at night

I’ve been here for only a day, but it oddly feels like my second day in Vigan. Next time, when I plan a trip like this, the first consideration will be my health. I bounded that bus with a fever and a bad headache. My second consideration will be if I have enough time to plan the freaking trip. Ha. After checking in at the hotel, I quickly changed into my PJs and slept amongst all my 6 fluffy pillows. Amazing. I think I slept for like 6 hours. I decided not to set up an alarm because I knew I needed to sleep. My temperature was not at a healthy level and my body was aching all over. So I slept until about noon. The hotel was kind enough to still let me have my free breakfast even though it was almost lunch time.

I was about to get ready to hit the streets when I realized that I forgot to bring my memory card. Well, nice one, ivy. Not only are you traveling alone in strange place where people think you are crazy enough to travel alone, but you managed to forget your freaking memory card of all things. And my brother's camera doesn't have an internal memory thing... so there. So far, everything about this trip has been fine and freaking dandy. (You do realize that I was being sarcastic). So, without taking a bath, I hit the streets and hoped and prayed that I’ll manage to find a memory card. and oh my god. I did.

I don't know why, but the people here seem to be so amused that someone is traveling alone. It’s crazy. I don't look foreign, so I might as well be a local walking the streets on her own. What’s so amusing about that? I think Pinoys are generally not ready for people who travel alone.

So... I didn't buy the SD card yet because I wasn't sure if it's compatible with my brother’s camera. I went to a salon, hoping to get a treatment for my poor, battered and stressed out hair and get a pedicure. I did get my pedicure but decided against the hair treatment which was 3x more expensive here than in Manila.

I went back to the hotel and slept. Again. It wasn’t a choice, really. I felt that if I didn’t rest, I’ll pass out. And I can’t pass out on the streets of Vigan, alone. I don’t have smelling salts. Ha. Anyway, this time I set my alarm for 2:30pm. 2:30 became 3:30 and 3:30 became 5:30.

I took my time preparing to go out and prayed for hot water. Lo and behold, it works. I bought a bag I can actually use (unlike my pretty purple bag) and bought the SD card, which thank God, works. Since I was now ready to explore and take pictures, I walked further and unknowingly reached Salcedo and Burgos parks and St Paul’s Cathedral.

St Paul's Cathedral

If there were a McDonald's in the 1500's

That’s where I met E. He seemed nice enough and after talking for a few minutes, he asked for my number and offered to show me around Vigan the next morning. I gave him my number but I don't know how willing I was to see Vigan with him.

With the help of my handy map, I found my way to Calle Crisologo. I took pictures and bought some souvenirs. This was weird because I don’t know who I’m buying the souvenirs for. I would love to buy some furniture and décor here for my apartment, though. I think I need to buy luggage here. It would be hard to drag all my stuff to Pagudpud then back to Manila.

Souvenir shopping along Calle Crisologo

I love this town. I am having a blast. I can live here and stay stuck in the 1500s forever. It’s amazing.

I keep getting messages from my friends back home and from E. I turned my phone off. They are all amazing and they just wanted to be sure I’m safe, but I kinda wanted this time alone for me.

Next year, I think I’ll take a Superferry somewhere. Get a really great cabin and some time for me.

NP: trouble:ray lamontagne
"Trouble
Feels like every time I get back on my feet
She come around and knock me down again
Worry
Sometimes I swear it feels like this worry is my only friend
Well I've been saved by a woman..."

Road Trip!

Everyday on my way home from work, I pass by a bus station. The buses are headed for Lucena, which is about a four hour ride. Everyday, I think about hopping on that bus with a backpack and my road trip play list. I then figured that a four hour road trip is a bit too short and what the crap will I do in Lucena, anyway?

So, I decided to go to Ilocos. I have never been there and it’s an 8-12 hour bus ride from Manila. I researched and set the date.

To start with, I had a lot of shortcomings with the preparation of this trip. I had planned this trip months ago but failed miserably with the little details. First, I packed just an hour before I had to leave my apartment to make it to the bus station on time. I was at the office, trying to finish my accountabilities 4 hours longer than I should have.

Second, if I am ever traveling for more than 2 nights, I should use my luggage with wheels. It’s crazy to go around carrying a heavy backpack if you can use a bag with wheels, especially if you’ve got an aching back and a fever.

Third, I didn’t have time to sync my iPod so the kick ass play list, the whole point why I’m taking this 8 hour bus ride and not a plane, is missing.

I was late for the bus. Well, not late late. I just didn't get there on time to get a seat. I wasn’t able to factor in the Friday night traffic and arrived just 30 minutes before the bus was supposed to leave. All the seats were taken when I got there. Crap. The lady at the counter told me that the next bus going to Loaog will leave in 3 hours. I had a choice, wait 3 hours in the bus station for the not-so-super-not-so-deluxe bus or take the Kunductor’s super uncomfortable seat for four hours and leave as scheduled. I took the Kundoctor’s seat. This turns out to be a pretty silly thing to do. This whole trip was based on the schedule of that freaking super-deluxe-unbelievably-comfortable bus... and guess what, when I finally got to sit on their supposedly comfortable seat six (NOT four as promised) hours later... it wasn’t.

I should have taken that Maria de Leon bus instead of Partas. I saw some of their super deluxe busses passing by and they looked really nice... or at least, it looked like the chairs can be reclined.

So, I sat on the konductor's seat. Right beside the driver and the konductor. At first I was pissed off, and then after I saw our reflection on the mirror, I realized that it was kinda funny. Ha. Big time traveler, huh? I wish I had a picture of that.

Four hours later, I was in a bus stop somewhere, smoking with the conductor and the driver, sharing the hopia and chocolate I brought for the trip. It was so funny, if only my back didn’t hurt as much.

I think my butt got an inch tighter from sitting on that freaking chair. First, there was no seatbelt. Nothing at all to keep me from being thrown through the windshield into the cold hard asphalt. Second, I saw everything that the driver saw. I saw the near misses and there were a lot of them; the kids who came out of nowhere who had no idea now close they got to their deaths; the peculiar silhouettes the trees make in the night; a full fledged hippie van with the back open to reveal that the seats were taken off and replaced with a couch and the couple nearby having a romantic dinner under the stars; and then there’s a motor cycle accident victim lying on the street with his blood glistening against the asphalt.

Lobby of Grandpa's Inn

I arrived at Grandpa's Inn around 4:30am and no one was at the reception. There was a faint fluorescent light from somewhere and I squinted to see if the two sleeping figures on what appeared to be furniture were real people or just statues. (Hey, I was in a new place and who knows, maybe life sized sleeping statues were the thing here.) I decided to ignore the two sleeping figures and hollered in the direction of the reception desk. No answer. I paced around for a minute then tried to holler in the direction of the sleeping figures. One of them stood up, walked to the reception desk and rang the bell.

I should have ringed the bell. Argh! Any professional tourist would have ringed the bell. Hollering “tao po!” gave away the fact that I’m a novice traveler. Tsk tsk. Hey I learn as I go...

At the second floor of Grandpa's Inn

My room at is at the second floor of this ancient house, and it has a window, as promised by the guy on the phone when I made the reservation. It is nice and clean, the air-conditioning is cold and the TV is small. The WiFi is weak. But the pillows are fluffy and I have six of them. I better get some zzzzzzzzz before I hit town.

Note to self: buy four fluffy pillows when I get home.

Location: Grandpa’s Inn, Vigan Ilocos Sur
NP: come back : pearl jam
"And the days, they linger on
And every night, what I'm waiting for
Is the real possibility I may meet you in my dream

And sometimes you're there
And you're talking back to me
Come the morning I could swear you're next to me

And it's okay.
It's okay.

I'll be here
Come back..."

make me believe

I know i never really gave them a chance...

but i love weezer.

they are so easy. so effortless. so uncomplicated. so flimsy. soooo easy.

so much fun!

NP: the damage in your heart : weezer
"One more dream
Vanished up in smoke
Now I have no hope
Anymore

Let it go
The damage in your heart
Let it go..."

the day it rained forever

i think i'm going to stick to this blog layout for now. the color scheme is oddly familiar... like my blog should have always been in these colors. i just need a little bit of blue here and there.

i hate the mall during christmas time. they look so happy and festive and has no regard whatsoever for people who don't celebrate christmas or are just plain lonely.

this is probably the first christmas where i have totally nothing to look forward to. last year was sad and quiet, but at least i hoped for something. this year, there's nothing.

Something dawned on me as I was on my way home this morning. i wasn't even thinking about it... it just came like a freaking bright idea. i think i know what i need... besides clarity. i wish for forgiveness. i'm not sure from whom or what... but i feel that that's what i need most... forgiveness.

the holiday season has the potential to be the loneliest and the happiest time of the year. it's that time when you're expected to be happy and to celebrate even when you feel otherwise which makes it the loneliest time of the year.

christmas used to be so happy. the lights, the lanterns, the puto bumbong, the hot choco, the little surprises when gifts are opened... it was that time when it's cold but full of warmth, and everything is beautiful and full of hope, and joy and love. always love.

NP: across the fields : 10,000 maniacs
"Take me along to the places you've gone when my eyes looked away.
Tell me the song that you sing in the trees in the dawning.
Tell me the part that shines in your heart
and the rays of love forever, please take me there..."

construction time. again.

i'm TRYing to change the template of this blog... it's taking longer than usual. so bear with me. thanksssss!!!!!

the loneliest girl in the world

ships ahoy!

i haven't posted in weeks because work has been eating up all my energy and sanity. for a while, i thought i was going to give up. but this morning, i thought about it and i'm staying. and if i'm going to do this, might as well jump into this with everything i've got.

if this ship is going down... well, i'm going down with it. ha.

And that painting on my wall that was askew (see askew), finally gave up and fell on my couch.

today, i made a very important discovery. i didn't know that you can actually talk on the phone with anyone through yahoo messenger. really. i didn't know that. i was chatting with a friend who suggested that and just called me through messenger. really. anyone in the word. all you need is a computer, internet connection and someone to talk to. i love the interweb!!!

and i have the greatest friends... REALLY. i don't know how i could have gone through the past weeks and months (and years) without you guys. you are all amazing in your own crazy ways.

this song alone made me a believer of amy winehouse. she's troubled but damn, she's talented.

NP: love is a losing game : amy winehouse
Though I'm rather blind
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

eternity

who would have thought that paul anka, one of my mom's favorite singers, will cover "black hole sun" by soundgarden?

i went to my mom's grave today. I miss my mom. it's crazy. sometimes, i wish she'll, somehow, show me a sign that she's watching over me. like show up in my dreams or something.

I miss my mom.

Today, my mom got the most amazing pot of flowers since she passed away. it's so special coz of the effort and love R gave into that amazing set of flowers. I have greatest best friend, ever. :)



NP: time in a bottle : jim croce
If I could save Time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
'Til Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you