last night

Man, you oughta finish what you started
You can't leave me here alive
Well I know it started as a fist fight
But you've got me covered up in hives...
when all this indecision reigns
It's your aimlessness that helps me see straight.
~ laughing out loud
The Wallflowers
Bringing Down the Horse

Last night, I was supposed to go home early, clean up the mess that is my apartment and think about that life changing decision I had to make. But instead of going straight home, I went out with my friends again. I could easily have refused, went home and decided once and for all what to do with my life. But I didn’t.

And I was out really late. I didn’t realize how late it was until I woke up in the bus on my home.

I asked for an extension this morning. D is getting really impatient with me.

How do you make that life changing decision, anyway? How to you chose to live another way and just ditch the other? Much as the opportunity seems really really good, I’m finding it hard to leave. I can’t leave my life here just yet. I guess I’m having too much fun.

This is the first time I’ve been single in my adult life and it is fun. Yeah, it can get lonely sometimes… nah… it’s mostly fun. Hahaha.

It’s like after five years, humankind is welcoming me back. Asking where the hell I’ve been, coz they’ve been waiting for me to share my life with them. That’s why I can’t leave just now.

And besides, I want to leave when I’m ready. I’m sure there’ll be other opportunities. There are just too many things that I still have to do here, finish here, settle here… Because once I leave, there’ll be no turning back.

So, I guess that’s my decision, huh?

D will be so mad.