atomic wedgie

it was somewhere between saturday night and sunday morning. i was invited, along with some of my friends, to participate in a medical experiment. it was run by a couple, a husband and wife, who were both doctors. they were trusted family friends, although at that time, i couldn’t track how we knew them. anyway, all the other test subjects were stationed on the first floor of the doctors’ house, which, looked like a normal house if not for the hospital beds. i was assigned on the second floor. i was an obedient guinea pig, doing what i was told, which was pretty much just taking the pills and sleeping all day. i didn’t ask what the experiment was for, or what’ll happen to us after the experiment. i guess i just trusted them despite the rising suspicion downstairs. i thought we’ve only been there for a day, but according to the murmur downstairs we’ve been there for an awful long time and the "naps" we had after taking the pills were actually long deep slumbers, lasting for days on end. oddly enough, that didn’t concern me much. i didn’t notice that i was the only subject on the second floor until my brother told me to get out of the house and escape, like the rest of the patients downstairs did. i was puzzled as to why anyone would want to take off. i mean, we were there, eating and sleeping all day, comfortable and well rested plus we get to help the doctors… why would anyone want to leave?

"you have a 9V black eveready battery up your ass!"

and there it was, a 9V black eveready battery, its contents emptied in my butt.

the world spun AND closed in on me and i wanted to pass out, but i had to flee. so i jumped off the window and woke up.

7am. damn. i’m late for work.

my supervixen alarm failed me.

so imagine my amusement the day after, when i went to my uncle’s 50th birthday party and found the good doctor giving a heartfelt speech.