the game

love has its limits
~ grey’s anatomy

from now on, i will TRY not to talk about how i feel. no sense trying to analyze my feelings when they don’t matter, right? from now on. i don’t feel anything. i’m a rock. i’m dead inside.

i will divert my time and attention to music. clothes. shoes. bags. vacations. parties and money. superficial stuff. things that don’t really matter to me. but heck, they will matter to me now. even as i type this i know that this is not who i am. but who knows? maybe this is what i should be. being who i am didn’t work. it just made me sad and alone… and defeated. maybe this time, i can just stop caring and win.

i’m exhausted. i don’t want to feel anymore.